A Heartfelt Message to the Burned-Out Homeschool Mom: Finding Your Way Back to Joy and Connection

Introduction:

If you're feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, and disconnected, know that you're not alone. Many of us have navigated the murky waters of burnout, where our passion for teaching and nurturing our children seems to be overshadowed by fatigue and self-doubt. This post is a gentle reminder that your well-being is crucial and that it's possible to rediscover joy and connection in your homeschool journey.

My Experience with Burnout:

My own battle with burnout was profound and painful, affecting my effectiveness as a mom, wife, and educator. The guilt of feeling like I had failed my family was overwhelming. But through this struggle, I've learned that healing is not a one-time event; it's a daily commitment to nurturing oneself and re-establishing connections that sustain us.

The Roots of Disconnection:

Our spiritual heritage teaches us that disconnection began in the earliest days of human history and persists in our broken world. This ancestral disconnection is not meant to be a permanent state; rather, it's a challenge to live fully connected to God, our loved ones, and ourselves, navigating life with grace and intention.

My burnout story was deep and difficult and long. It came between me and my family and my homeschooling. I became ineffective as a homeschool mom wife and nurturer of my home. I felt devastated because of it I felt like I had failed everyone Including myself

I needed healing to get my self from a state of disconnection to a state of wholeness. This is not a one time healing but a thing that must be accomplished on a daily, monthly yearly and even a lifetime level. 

We are all in a state of disconnection.  It’s in all of us at to some point at all times in our life. That state of disconnection happened in paradise when Adam and Eve sinned and fell from Gods Grace. It will be with us until we die and meet with our loving saviour in eternity!! It’s a blessing actually to think there will not be a state of disconnection forever. It’s only in this life that we will experience this

Understanding Homeschool Burnout:

Homeschooling is uniquely demanding—it's a vocation that combines the roles of parent, teacher, and often, community leader.

We all have an intuitive sense of what Burnout is. We know how we feel when we are burnt out and how we crumble both physically and mentally and also spiritually in a lot of cases

Herbert Feudenberger gave these 3 components to burnout in 1975

• Emotional exhaustion-the fatigue that comes from caring too much for too long

• Depersonalization-the depletion of empathy, caring, and compassion 

•  Decreased sense of accomplishment-a sense of futility.

Burnout is becoming more and more prevalent as life becomes more complicated and we become busier and unfortunately as the food we eat becomes unhealthful

Reconnecting with Yourself and Your Mission:

1. Prioritize Self-Care: As a homeschool mom, it's easy to put everyone else's needs before your own. Start by carving out time each day for activities that replenish your spirit, whether it's reading, praying, or simply sitting quietly.

2. Seek Connection: Connect with other homeschool parents who understand the challenges you're facing. Sharing experiences and solutions can help lighten your emotional load and reintroduce joy into your homeschooling.

3. Embrace Small Joys: Find joy in the small moments—a child's smile, a successfully completed lesson, a quiet coffee break. These bits of happiness can be powerful antidotes to burnout.

But how do you get exhausted from emotions?

Emotions happen in response to a stimulus - could be a thought or something that happens in your environment. Instantaneously, you have a whole-body reaction. Your body creates a whole physiology and just about every system in your body responds to the chemical and electrical cascade activated by that

stimulus.

Emotions will end on their own, if you go all the way through them.

Exhaustion happens when you get stuck in an emotion. Getting stuck on repeat leads to a pile up that over years and maybe decades takes your body, mind and spirit further and further away from balance and alignment 

Disconnection to Connection

Creating the Safety you Need to Heal

Humans are wired for connection. From the time we are born, we need connection to thrive emotionally, physically, intellectually and spiritually. The need for connection is not woo-woo. It is hard, legit neuroscience.

Our most routine encounters act as regulators in the brain, priming our emotions. The connectedness we experience in our relationships impacts the way our brain develops and performs.

Our innate need for connection means that the consequences of disconnection are real, Connection is a requirement for safety, for your brain to register that "| am safe."

Safety is not a lack of threat, safety is the presence of connection. Safety is trust.

You feel unsafe when there is a lack of connection. This is two-directional. Safety, connection and trust with yourself AND others.

Safety means that your nervous system can relax, your defenses can disengage, and you get into a mode that allows you to smile, listen and be present, whether this is with yourself or another person.

Safety comes from connecting with people in a manner that you are seen, heard and valued. There is an energy to this. I call it holding, or attunement. For this healing force to be encouraged and activated, it has to be developed from the inside and it has to be attuned to from the outside in at least one relationship that is safe.

Healing that disconnection to your sense of self is where the magic starts to happen.

Healing Through Embodiment:

Your body holds wisdom about your emotional and physical state. Learning to listen to its signals can guide you to better health and deeper understanding.

- Daily Check-Ins: Take a moment each day to assess how you're feeling physically and emotionally.

- Mindful Breathing: Use breathing exercises to ground yourself during stressful moments, helping to bring a sense of calm and presence.

Creating a Safety Net: Building a sense of safety and trust within your homeschool environment can transform your experience.

- Establish Routines: Predictable routines can provide a sense of security and help manage stress.

- Build Supportive Relationships: Cultivate relationships with family and friends who affirm and support your homeschooling efforts.

Conclusion:

Burnout doesn't define your capability or worth as a mother or educator. It's a sign that something needs to change—perhaps internally, in your approach, or in your environment. Allow yourself grace as you make these adjustments. Your journey is not just about educating your children but about growing and learning together in love and faith.

Encouragement to Reach Out:

If you find yourself struggling, remember it's okay to ask for help. Whether it's talking to a friend, joining a support group, or seeking professional guidance, reaching out is a step toward healing and rejuvenation.

Closing Thought:

You are enough, just as you are. Your effort and love matter immensely in shaping the lives of your children. Together, let’s move towards a life of connection and fulfillment, embracing both our challenges and our successes with open hearts